Stanislas Ruhamiliza (58) a farmer. Once his children were grown up and had their own herds there was not enough land for grazing and for the children to build their own houses, so in 1990 he emigrated to Ulvira in Zaire. He sold his cows to buy land there. His wife, three of his daughters and a son went with him. He left three sons and a daughter in Bisesero. He planned for the rest of the family to join him in Ulvira but then the genocide began. Afterwards he sold his cows and fields and went back home to his family. He found his four children had been killed along with 8 grandchildren. He sasy: 'Everything I saw caused me anguish. I asked myself if it was the Bisesero that I knew, the place where I had my cattle and which sheltered lots of Tutsis. I wondered if I was dreaming. I saw only skulls and the ruins of destroyed houses...Could I forget how much I struggled before the genocide to bring up my children. I'd gone into exile so they would have a future. But they were killed without me realising my dream. I bitterly regret having left my children in Rwanda. I don't know how to look at life positively. I feel I'll never be happy for the rest of my life.'